Driving back from Bristol yesterday after picking up my car it dawned on me that it was the first time in 6 months that I had been genuinely alone. For the last six months I have been pretty much constantly monitored; whether it be nurses checking my vitals, Lois sorting all my admin, or the old man making sure I haven’t eaten all the ingredients for dinner…. there is always someone aware of what I’m up to…
Very rarely do people just disconnect and disappear for a bit, but the option is there, and that option, even if it is subconscious, is often enough for piece of mind. I don’t think you truly appreciate that freedom until it’s gone, and even then, after a while you just get used to it. Well I had just rediscovered that feeling of independence and it felt good. It felt so good that I turned my phone off, turned @absoluteradio 80s up, and just drove. I didn’t care where I was heading, I was just basking in the fact that I was 100% in charge.
In any walk of life, everyone needs a support network around them. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today without mine. However, there is a difference between them being there as a safety net and having to rely on them every day. One thing I have learnt is that the human brain is incredibly adaptable, it doesn’t take long for a change to become normality and for the past to be forgotten. After a few months in constant care I had soon forgotten what it was like to be independent, I didn’t miss it, it was just the way it was. Well now I know, and I will never underestimate what it means to be free again. ✌️
P.s. ‘Free’ is probably a bit punchy, ‘unmonitored’ more apt but not as effective. 🥊
P.P.s. On the way up to London for @hambofoundation autumn internationals dinner. Looking forward to catching up with some old faces and meeting a few new ones!